Tomorrow if all goes as divinely planned most of you will be sucked up into the sky to begin your new lives as wide-eyed, cloud-sitting harpists.
A few of us will not be going. I have it on good authority that there is no beer in heaven. As per the the prophetic lyrics of Ernst Neubach. Ernst wrote, "In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink it here (Right Here!) When we're gone from here, all our friends will be drinking all our beer"!
Fuck that! I'm not going. Mrs. Mikey is sitting on stash of Russian River sours that need to be "biblicly molested" by one obstinate beer gnerd and apparently being raptured isn't good enough reason for "the Boss" to pop the goddamn corks!
Anyway... if your "head'n up to the spirit in the sky", I call first dibs on all abandon beer cellars. Tough shit, Dougie, Ed, Dal, Bonnie, Eric, Kent, Tiff, Geoff, Mike, Ricky, Craig, Jamie, Jared, Thy, Dave, Mark and all you other Rapture shitters. I called dibs first! Same damn rules as shotgun...
Once the "saved" are gone, I propose we have a Kegger at Senator Valentine's place. Trust me, he's not going anywhere, plus that poor mislead bastard is gunna need a beer. I don't know Where he lives, but he'll be the only one in Orem with booby glitter on his face. So look for that.
By the way, be sure and saves all the kegs. We'll need them for the coming Zombie Apocalypse. More info to come.
By the way, Mark has a few Cantillons at the Bayou.