* Utah Beer Satire* Provo, Utah (UB) - A Provo woman is in jail tonight for assaulting her 31 year old husband after she allegedly became fed-up with his apparent lack of Home brewing prowess.
Wanita Conchita Bavario, broke a glass carboy over the head of Husband Clay Bavario after his latest home brew creation came up short - once again. "Every few weeks, he'd make a big production about his latest - greatest 'Imperial Oak-aged Uber hop bomb'. Every one of his Goddamn beers tastes exactly the same—like really thick, shitty beer. I'm fed up!"
Clay Bavario is recovering at Utah County Regional Hospital, with cuts and a minor concussion. Provo Police aren't commenting on the assault, but are looking into filing charges against the Provo home brewer for "daring to go against community standards". Provo Police Lt. Grover Green said. "Assault is one thing, but when you try to be different in Provo, that's a whole different enchilada".
Police confiscated the remaining home brew in the household and placed it into the Police Cheif's fishing boat for "safe Keepin".